As I’ve admitted in the past, the through-line of my blog hasn’t
been very clear, maybe because I don’t really have one anymore, and as I stated
in an earlier post, I’ve given myself permission to write about
anything and everything and to enjoy just writing for the sake of writing. Life has been hectic lately, and as usual I
haven’t posted as much as I would have liked, but there is something on my mind
that I need to get it down “on paper” and maybe sort through my feelings about
it.
I’m basically a non-confrontational person,
but this time I’ve had it. This was a monumental week, and I’ve so loved seeing
all the love, the support, the celebrations, the PRIDE that’s been floating
around the internet and especially facebook. I’m happy for my friends and
family, I’m happy for my country, I’m happy that we are taking a step in the
right direction and that society, baby steps though they may be, is getting
closer to being "all grownsed up and all grownsed up and all grownsed up" (hopefully quoting “Swingers” won’t take away from the sincerity of my words –
I can’t help it, I suffer from a pop culture illness and symptoms tend to break
out at the worst times)
Anyway, I’ve always been a proud supporter of my LGBT friends
and family and up until now, I haven’t really been one to argue too much with
people who disagree. I don’t like to argue politics, and I don’t like to
argue religion. I believe that everyone IS entitled to their opinions and beliefs, but please people…don’t kid yourselves
into thinking that that’s what this is. This is not about politics, this is not
about your religious views, or how you interpret the Bible. (and I won’t
even go too far into that. Anyone that wants to literally live by what they think the Bible says
needs to admit they are sinning every time they wear a certain fabric, eat a
certain meat or refrain from beating their children when they misbehave).
But that is not even the point because this is not about anyone’s religion or
beliefs, it’s about the law. It’s about basic human rights, about civil
liberties, about equality. “I don’t agree
with it…that’s just my opinion” – Do you think that saying that’s “just my opinion” implies somehow that
it’s harmless, that it’s not damaging? You “don’t agree with” someone’s
life and who they choose to love? Who asked you? And more to the point, what does that have to do with the law? I don't agree with Giants fans, but I certainly don't want to take their rights away.
You know there are the Westboro Baptist types of extreme lunatics,
and they are hateful and they are dangerous in their own way, but they are so
over the top and ridiculous that they are more like clowns of society that no
one with any sense would take seriously. Or, someone who goes on the news
and says that gay people should be fenced in (you know who gives birth to gay babies, right? Straight people. Uh-oh, they are totally outside the fence -- now what??) , it’s easy to laugh them off as
lunatics and go on your way, but what I think is really more dangerous are the
sane, well-spoken and well-educated people who casually toss out
their opinion, to their friends, to society, to their children…that other
people in our country should not have the same rights that they do. People need to be aware of the weight that their words carry
and the impact that their opinions have. That’s why I feel that if you
can make the statement that you don’t agree with gay marriage, you should be
made fully aware of what you are really saying. You need to OWN your
opinion and the impact of your words. You need to be able to look into
your heart and say, and mean that you feel that you are entitled to
benefits in this country that some of your fellow citizens are NOT entitled
to. You can have tax breaks, and health benefits, you can make medical
decisions for your spouse, you can collect your spouses’ social security when
they pass away, you can take advantage of the 1,138 benefits denied to gay couples who were
told they could not marry. If you can say that you believe you are more entitled to these things because of who you
choose to marry, than please say that instead.
While I’m ranting, another thing that I’ve seen written lately
was that gay marriages are harmful to the children. This kind of ignorant
statement makes my blood pressure reach heights unknown. I can only
assume that someone that would say something like this must not actually know
any gay couples with children. So, this is another statement that I would love for someone to
back up and explain to me. And please don’t tell me that a child NEEDS to
be raised by a male and a female, or else you will have to start knocking on
doors of all the amazing, hard-working single parents out there who are doing a
damn fine job raising their kids, with their one and only gender at the
helm. Should we take some of their rights away? I know several gay couples who are wonderful parents and are raising
beautiful, well-adjusted, happy children, and I’ve certainly known of countless
heterosexual couples who quite frankly shouldn’t be allowed to own a dog let
alone raise a child. There are shitty gay parents and there are shitty straight
parents, but their sexual orientation certainly has NOTHING to do with their
parenting skills or lack thereof. If your argument is that it will be
more difficult in society for the children of gay parents, please keep in mind
that YOU are helping to foster that judgmental society… by that very
statement! Instead of saying gay couples shouldn’t have children because
society will treat these children unfairly, how about we do something to change
the unfair society? Isn’t that what history has taught us to do??
So, you are a religious person who doesn't think that gay people should be allowed to get legally married because you think homosexuality is a sin. Does that mean that atheists shouldn't get married? Does that mean that all people who you feel are sinners should be denied benefits? Does that mean that if I covet my neighbors possessions that I shouldn't be allowed on my husband's health insurance plan??
I’ve tried really hard to put myself into the shoes of people
who see this differently than me. I really have. I have tried to
come up with something that I believe strongly in and then I’ve questioned if
there is anything that someone could say that would change my mind about it. I
just can’t come up with any examples that relate back to this in any way.
The only people I feel shouldn’t have the same rights as me are criminals,
people who harm, people who kill, people who destroy. Not people who love,
not people who just want to live their lives like everyone else.
But, either way, what’s done is done and I suppose I’ve said
what I wanted to say. I probably don’t have the power to change anyone’s
mind (I wish I did, I'd also like to be able to fly, breathe under water and wear short shorts in public), but when I make a statement, I want to have the courage to back it up with what that
statement really means. So that is what I’ve tried to do and I hope everyone
else can do the same.
In closing…get used to it.
TEACH LOVE!
