Chapter 25 - Happy Sue Year

With 25 Days of Ridiculous Things I See In Holiday Catalogs, I got away from my chapters of rambling.  -- but, now I'm back to it with Chapter 25.....Happy Sue Year

So, 17 days in and I’m ready to start rambling about New Year’s.... I know it's a new year because ever since the clock struck 2013, I cannot get a parking spot at my kids’ daycare.  Reason being that the daycare shares a parking lot with a gym.  I’m sure in the next few weeks this will taper off and the parking lot won’t be so crowded.  And while these gym-joining folks are sweating away at their new resolution, I've got one of my own, a mantle of a new philosophy which just draped itself over my shoulders this past weekend, and will hopefully reside there longer than my fellow parking companions  reside at the gym.

Last weekend I took my kids to visit my sister’s home.  She and her fiancé (yay!) recently moved to a beautiful place, in the middle of no where, PA 

CHICKENS!

.... and we all had a lovely visit. 

Anyway, while driving back home late Sunday afternoon I was almost in a car accident on 287 South about a mile before the Parkway South exit.  Some moron missed his exit and decided to slam on his brakes two lanes over from the exit lane and come to a dead stop.  Cars swerved around him on both sides, and just as I was about to do the same (swerve around him on the right), he decided he would make a hard right turn and just drive over to the exit ramp he had just passed.   I was already braking as I was trying to go around him, but I had been doing about 65 and there was no way I would be able to come to a complete stop in time.  Both my kids were asleep in their carseats in the back.  If someone had told me prior to that moment that this was going to happen, I would assume panic on my part, but surprisingly I had a very odd moment of calm…This thought went through my mind:  I am going to hit this car, and its going to be bad, but the kids and I are going to be okay.  Well I feel very fortunate to say that the moron turned just enough and I swerved just enough and I missed him by what I’m guessing were just inches, I don’t even know.  As I replay it in my head, I’m still not quite sure how it is that I didn't hit him, as his car was pretty much perpendicular to mine in my lane.  In the moments afterwards, I felt kind of sick and jumpy, I guess it was from a mixture of adrenaline, fear and anger at what had just happened and how my babies were in danger because of some careless idiot.  I was shaken up for a while, and then the calm came back and I just felt overwhelming gratitude.  I had a feeling of so much thankfulness that we were all okay, I don’t even think I can describe it.  All of us experience near misses of things like this all the time, so I’m not sure why this particular moment brought it out, but I haven’t been able to shake it.  I'm now left feeling super grateful about everything.  I feel grateful when I wake up in the morning and when I put my kids to bed at night and everything in between.   I can’t really explain it and as simple as it may be, it feels really good and I want to keep it wrapped around me as long as I can. 

When JD's crying wakes me up in the middle of the night, I don’t feel frustrated that I’m not getting a good night’s sleep, I remember to feel blessed that my baby is healthy and can breathe and cry and make wonderful sounds.  When Lily has a temper tantrum and hits volumes and squeals that only a 4 year old girl can, I don’t lose my patience and wonder why I have to deal with this all alone, I thank God that my daughter is so stubborn and smart that she can actually make an intelligent argument for whatever crazy thing it is she’s getting upset about.  When I want to cry because I’m so tired while Tony is away again on business and I’m taking care of everything all by myself, instead I feel gratitude that we both have good jobs, that we’re able to support our family, that I’m not a single parent ALL of the time and most of all that I have a home and children that need taking care of, that I’m tired for the most delightful of reasons.

So okay, this may sound annoying sappy and I promise to get back to making fun of myself and the outside world in my next post....I’m sure this shiny happy feeling will wear off a little and there will be many times where I lose my mind at the drop of a hat  (hell, it’s only Thursday – and this near accident happened just a few days ago)  I will become frustrated and angry and get upset about stupid things, but isn't it worth a try to follow up those moments with a reminder of thankfulness, of gratitude, of holy-shite folks, we're really really lucky people, you know? Please be thankful for what you have, be grateful for the moments that you’re in, be happy about the amazing things and people that are around you.

2012 was a year of blessings and tragedy, a year of growth and regression, a year of moving forward and a year of getting pushed around, but we all need to remember that we have so very much to be thankful for and that life is really too short to get wrapped up in the petty arguments and the stupid complaints.  Get over it and be grateful for this moment, for right now.  Sometimes this ride is thrilling and sometimes it makes you sick, but man are you lucky that you’re on it.  Just what the hell is it that everyone is so angry about?  Go thank someone for something.  Call your Mom, kiss your wife, tickle a baby, go buy an eclair.  Get over yourself.  If you believe in God, thank her for this day! - If you don't, thank your lucky stars or whatever higher power brings you blessings.  Go to sleep tonight happier than when you woke up regardless of what happens to you today because deep down in your heart, you know that no matter what your day was like, someone had it worse and you have A LOT to be thankful for.

You are blessed!

-- Happy New Year!