Baby Wearing

Chapter 10 - Baby Wearing

Yes, that’s what it’s called…”baby wearing” and if you’re going to ride the bus in New York City, it’s the only way to go. I’m a big fan of it to get my kids around, mainly because we take the bus and the stroller is just too much to deal with on the bus.  Take a screaming, squirming baby out of the stroller and hold her with one hand while you collapse and fold up the stroller with the other hand, quickly carry the baby and the stroller onto the bus before it pulls away (since it took you so long to get the damn stroller closed sometimes the bus will leave without you), then try to squish onto a super crowded bus and find a place to lean the stroller so that you have a free hand to hold on to the pole, then try not to be the a-hole that gets muddy stroller wheels in everyone’s way – it’s all just too much “fun” for a daily commute, so I quickly opted for “baby wearing”.

I have found websites devoted to the benefits of “baby wearing”.  They mention all sorts of wonderful things about babies in carriers having better physical, mental and emotional development and that they cry less at night if they rode in carriers during the day.  Some keep it simple, saying that it just makes life easier where some go as far as to make you feel like a horrible parent if you dare use one of those evil satanic strollers that children have been suffering through for far too long.  I didn't see any mention of the most obvious benefit :  that you won’t accidentally leave your kid somewhere if they’re strapped to your body.

In any event, I started out with the bjorn, which seems to be the standard in the baby-wearing world.  You’ve all seen them, they are probably the most popular of the bunch.  They really work great for tiny babies, but once they start to put on the pounds, I’m not sure how to wear one without it causing tremendous pain to my upper back.  Still, when riding the bus or subway, its definitely easier than dealing with the stroller and is therefore really worth the backache. 

While I wish that when I used my bjorn it turned me into a supermodel in a back alley in Europe, I had no such luck.  I still looked like me in my corduroy pants in every shade of brown there is paired with a comfy cardigan over some retro t-shirt I’m probably too old to be wearing.  Ah well….

I started to explore some of the other “baby wearing” options out there – I had seen lots of people walking around the city wearing those fabric baby slings that look so beautiful.  I considered giving them a try,  but I am far too clumsy to think I could ever use one of these properly. 

There’s something that looks like magician’s rings involved, there’s piles of silky stuff that looks like a baby would just slip and slide right through it.  I have no idea how people get their kids wrapped up in those things without a team of experts at home to help them, so I never even attempted one.  They do look lovely, but I’m quite sure that I’m not coordinated enough to pull them off, nor do I have the extra 20 minutes in the morning it looks like these carriers require.  So, they were a no go for me.

So, back to my quest for the perfect baby carrier -- After trying out a couple of options at a local baby store, my carrier of choice became the scoot-a-baby.  It balances the weight between your hips and your shoulder, and the baby sits on the side of your body where they would naturally fit on your hip.  Having the weight of my child rest on my ample hips seems to work out best for me. 

I can’t claim to enjoy it quite as much as this woman, but it would appear that she seems really really pleased with hers as well.  Not sure what’s going on there, but it looks like a party.  I’ve never had quite that much fun carrying either one of my kids around in one of these, so we might be doing something wrong.

I also found something online called the Belle baby carrier, which claims to be like a Bjorn without the backache. 

Although, if you are carrying your baby around between study hall and cheering practice, which it looks like this girl might be doing, I can’t imagine you have too many aches and pains yet anyway. What is she, 15?  That well-placed 2010 top choice award insert even makes it look at first glance like she's carrying a volleyball.  Yes, she's carrying her baby around on the way to volleyball practice.  There's no way her back hurts.




This is something called the Mamas and Papas Morph Pod.

The description says parents can “share the load” and switch the baby from one parent to the other, while both parents wear their harnesses.  I’m trying to think of a situation where this would ever be necessary.  Both parents walk around with the ridiculous harness on, taking turns handing the baby back and forth in the pod like some weird infant volley session?   You take her, no YOU take her! It would be fun to buy a couple of these and everybody in the room gets a turn, passing babies all around in an endless game of baby-hot-potato.  Think of the possibilities.

And then I found this thing…the Metro-Carrier.  The description on this one says it’s “streamlined styling for savvy urbanites on the get up & go”. 

To me it looks like a backpack that you zip your baby into.  I don’t see anywhere that the baby goes on this thing, unless you are just supposed to zip your baby up inside of it, which I guess really is pretty streamlined.  Although, at $180 you might as well just save some money and put your baby into an actual backpack or duffle bag for a lot less money.

Then of course there are the mountain climbing baby carriers (for all those folks out there that take their babies mountain climbing) – Sure, that seems like a fun and safe past-time, and exactly what I myself was itching to do the moment I had children.  As soon as I brought each baby home from the hospital, I really wanted to strap them into a giant contraption on my back and go climb a mountain.  (Who ARE these people?) –

 I saw a guy on my bus one day carrying his daughter in one of those.  First of all, I've lived in apartments smaller than these things --  if I ever tried to carry either of my kids in one of these, I’d probably knock them unconscious every time I went through a doorway, entered an elevator or boarded the bus.  But, this guy seemed to know just when and how to duck without cracking his daughter's head on anything.  Good for him (he climbs mountains after all…with BABIES after all, so clearly he’s much more coordinated than I am).  I have to mention, since I brought him up, that this was the same dad that gave me some sage advice when I told Lily to stop playing with the wheels on her stroller (yes, this was a day that I brought the stroller on the bus, so of course I was already in a bad mood) – He told me that I should let her play with them because our ancestors thought it wise for children to eat dirt and the added boost to her immune system would keep her good and healthy.  I don’t know what neighborhood he lives in, but in MY neighborhood of 1000 dogs, we roll over a lot more than just dirt. Anyway, I thanked him for the advice, told Lily once again to STOP playing with the wheels of the stroller and got off the bus --  I suppose he was heading straight from 2^nd avenue to the nearest mountain range to feed his kid some of that immune system boosting dirt, and good for them.