Chapter 15 - "Mama, we did our best"

We had a particularly rough morning earlier this year.  It was about 13 degrees outside (one of the FEW very cold days this past winter), Lily and John Diego and I were all sick.  We piled on layer on top of layer on top of layer and then coughed and sneezed and shivered our way to the bus. The bus was packed, we squeezed our way on with all the other freezing people who were probably having just as rough of a morning as we were.  JD’s in a side carrier on my hip, so I had one free hand to hang on to the pole (no, of course we didn’t get a seat), and the other hand to hold onto Lily as she gets flung around every time the driver stops short.  By the time we got off the bus and walked to the daycare, we were frozen, exhausted, pretty much ready to end our day rather than just begin it.  We were defrosting in the lobby of the building when Lily looked up at me and said, “Mama, we did our best”.  Yeah, I guess we did.

And so I realized something, I guess most of these stories that are sometimes funny or frustrating really gave me some parenting moments that I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere else, for better or worse.  (In my limited experience of being a parent for just over 3 years…) 

It struck me one day just how lucky I am to have these adventures when I was actually riding the bus by myself, heading to a doctor’s appointment on my lunch break. Lily was probably about a year old at the time, already at the daycare for the day.  I boarded the bus, I sat down (of course when I’m by myself and not struggling with kids and multiple bags, there are MORE than enough seats) and there I was.  Without the baby I could read a book, I could listen to music, I could flip through a magazine, I could make a phone call, and here’s the thing:  I was bored.  I was beyond bored.  The bus was mine and Lily’s thing and I didn’t like doing it without her.  I wanted my girl there with me to point out all the dogs she saw out the window, or to throw her elmo doll at a stranger, or to play rockstar concert with her princess dolls on my lap.  It was a nice, calm, quiet, easy, in fact relaxing way to travel, and I didn’t care for it at all.  Lily did that for me.  She changed my normal, she changed my routine.  She made it messy and hectic and sticky and frantic and loud and she made it wonderful and hilarious and something I will always treasure. (And obviously this applies not just to our nonsense on the bus, but to everything in life that is so much better now that I get to share it with my kids).  Anyway, I guess I’m keeping and recording these stories for them so that we never forget these ridiculous experiences. 

Lily is a city mouse who doesn’t know that our morning ritual is a bit crazy.  A barrage of strangers trying to touch her and feed her and give her mother unwanted parenting advice…that’s her normal, and the fact that she made it so fun and so hilarious is just further proof of what an amazing little girl she really is.   As for John Diego, well – he’s a national treasure because usually he just sleeps through the whole thing….as I’ve said before, he’s actively campaigning for Baby of the Year.

So, I know that I am actually very lucky to have these funny experiences with my kids.  Of course sometimes it sucks, and it might be nice to throw my kids into car seats and head out in a nice, warm car without crazy people trying to share their food, their advice and their colds.  But then I wouldn’t be able to commute while participating in the daily rock concert that lily’s dolls have on her lap, or just staring at my son during a bus ride while he sleeps on my lap.  And even though I really don’t like making small talk with strangers, it is nice, it’s actually really nice to have people you don’t know tell you on a regular basis how beautiful your children are.  I’m not saying the bus is great, or even good, or even bearable.  But, while I am forced to use it as a way to get from Place A to Place B with Lily and JD, I’m trying to appreciate the time I’m spending with them on it, to make the most of it, to even enjoy it.  (and what the heck, it gave me something funny to write about from time to time)

That said – we’re packing up and moving out.  

I’m taking my city mice and moving them to the beach, where they will learn to appreciate sand, pork roll, and Bruce Springsteen…This will actually be our LAST week of riding the M15 every day.  So, I guess that’s the end of the “Tales of Public Transportation” part of my blog – but, I’m quite sure that the “MadMom” side of me will still come up with something to complain about, or ponder out loud…..

I’ve had about 1,300 site visits to my blog so far, which has been really nice – Thank you all for visiting, and I really hope you all keep reading…..  something tells me that that I’ll be able to come up with something to say about raising kids at the Jersey shore….stay tuned!