Day 1 - 25 Days of Ridiculous Things I See in Holiday Catalogs

Sometimes when we can’t get the kids to take a nap on the weekends, we’ll take a brief ride in the car, which they are both powerless to.  When they do finally fall asleep, we go to Trader Joe’s and Tony does the grocery shopping while I sit in the car with the sleeping kids.  I love this time, because it’s quiet, the kids are safe and warm in the backseat, Tony is getting everything we need in the magical shopping carts at Trader Joe’s that somehow never hold more than $100 worth of groceries (oh, how I love you Trader Joe’s!), and I get to read.  Being the mother of two small kids, I don’t get much time to read anymore.  So, my nice quiet Trader Joe’s parking lot time is when I look forward to reading.  Though I never thought I could get used to it, I now only read on the kindle app on my phone.  So convenient because in the rare times that I have a spare moment to myself in which I can read, I always have my phone with me, and therefore, I always have the book I’m reading with me (thank you smart phone,  you truly are so very smart!).  So, last weekend we were at Trader Joe’s, the kids are sleeping, I’m about to read and low and behold…my battery dies.  Oh hell!  NOW what am I going to do???  This treasured quiet time just turned into a potential 45 minutes to an hour of sheer boredom , I’m stuck in the car with my sleeping kids in a stupid parking lot for close to an HOUR with nothing to do!  Harrumph!  But, I notice that on the floor in the backset there are about a dozen catalogs.  What they were doing in my car, I still don’t know.  Tony put them in the back of the car for some reason, and there they were – yay, something to do!  And of course, since I hadn’t started ANY Christmas shopping yet, I thought maybe I’d get a few ideas.   So, I start looking through them.  Holy shite, folks – when’s the last time you looked at some of these holiday catalogs???  If you’re like me, you get several a week during the holidays, and we’re not even big shoppers.  Someone like my Mom gets about 10 a day, no joke! – I saw some things in these catalogs that were so funny and so ridiculous, it gave me the idea for my upcoming bouts of ramblings….

And another thing…  I have a lot of friends and family who did this lovely thing on facebook during the month of November where they would list something they are thankful for every day.  It was really nice to see, and I enjoyed reading everyone’s list each day…and then THAT gave me the format for my idea.

So, here it is.  This will be the first post of:  25 Days of Purely Ridiculous Things I See in Holiday Catalogs. 

Short and sweet and one every day leading up to 12/25.  Try it yourself, you’ll see – these things are just WAY too easy to make fun of! –

So, 12/1 – here we go – picture # 1 comes from a magazine called PajamaGram, where you can buy very expensive pajamas and have them delivered to someone (oh wait…just  like the pajamas in any mail-order catalog) – I have a feeling that PajamaGram will make a repeat appearance in my blog posts because their pictures are absolutely hilarious.  But, this is the first one that I saw that made me laugh, so I’ll start with this one: 

So, at first glance, this might not seem that bad, other than the obvious ridiculousness of grownups in baby pajamas.  Its a little bit holiday nonsense, a little bit awkwardfamilyphotos.com, and a lot embarrassing.  The description refers to them as “Dropseat Pajamas”, presumably because you can unbutton the ass of the pajamas to use the bathroom, rather than getting completely naked in the middle of the night, not just unpleasant on a cold winters night, but also time consuming.  

The things I really love about this picture aren't really obvious until you zoom in, and I regret that I cannot deliver a better quality photo.  So, I zoomed in as best I could so we could break this one down.  

It’s not that Greg and Adam don’t look comfortable pretending to hang decorations on an already decorated tree, they just look ridiculous.  Adam doesn’t even want to face the camera.  He’d prefer to remain anonymous I’m sure, if only his name wasn't printed across his "drop seat" he might just be able to deny it Monday morning in homeroom pre-asskicking....

And as for Sally (I gotta guess on the name here, since we can't see her rear end....)

Is anyone paying attention to the daughter and the overly friendly dog?  (also forced to wear pajamas....who exactly is going to clean up THAT mess??  Ridiculous to put those things on a dog!)

But the real gem here is the Mom and Baby: 

Just what the hell is so funny?  Your child is miserable! Presumably because he's looking at a room full of non-babies who are wearing baby pajamas.  How confusing!  

Baby: These are what I should be wearing...why is my Mom in these? Good Lord, why is my DAD wearing these?  Do I look happy to you guys???  and why is she laughing at me???

But the most ridiculous thing about this, is that to outfit this family of 5 and their dog in these grown-up baby pajamas costs: $239.94.   Seriously.   Kid, you would have gotten much better toys this year if your parents didn't spend $240 on baby pajamas....for themselves.  Ridiculous!

Hey, don't be too sad....it could be worse -- you could be part of this family where children have beards:

Ridiculous -